12 February 2009

(G), the Insensitive Bastard, and Gerald

(G)
I remember happy times
most often found me sitting
in your car.
The soundtrack to these times is
always the same, like we never had
anything else to listen to back then.
The places always change
from boat landings, to driveways,
to the open road.
Yet the feeling is always the same.
You are always the same.
Always the perfect guy that
Made me happy.

In those happy moments I was
always able to be myself, holding nothing back
because you could handle me as is.
You weren't like the rest of them
or I told myself that at least.
I relished that thought and held it close
even if I couldn't really hold you.
You let the hope live that it would happen
someday.
You'd come around.

the Insensitive Bastard
You never came around, at least not for me.
Someone else got to take a chance on you.
I realized you weren't so different
like I had always thought.
You were just as guilty of listening to
whispers and rumors
even if you weren't responsible for spreading them
you still collected them and added them to
your opinion. Your image of me.
You did not take the time to
get to know me.
You just took on the view that everyone else
that never knew me held.

You broke the pedestal I had put you on
with just one simple statement
and you, as usual, were so caught up in you
that you never noticed the change in
Stature you had in my life.
To you, nothing had changed
while to me I lost a best friend
that I had fallen in love with.
When I cried for that, for you,
you would never know.

Gerald
sooo... i haven't finished this one yet. but i figured i'd go ahead and put that much up. ::shrugs::

Fix You/Fix me.

And in that moment... I knew.
That moment when a song came on
I knew I didn't want to hear it.
Yet some basic part of me screamed
That I had to hear it
Because I knew I needed to realize
I don't have a handle on dealing with you.
The tears came down, and suddenly
All I wanted to do was turn my
Car around and head straight to you.
I wanted to catch you off guard
And throw my arms around you.
Before you even had the chance
I'd tell it all, completely let down my wall
No care what you thought about it,
Just happy to have it said.
No more hiding behind a shelter of unspoken words
No more hoping that you have figured things out.
In that moment of craving those words, that music
I found what I need from you
Found what I had to give up
The burden I could no longer carry
Just for the sake of safety.